If you’re getting married for the second time, congratulations! You might find yourself a little nervous about what kind of wedding you should have, wanting to celebrate the love between you and your future spouse without going overboard. But don’t stress!  Before you drive yourself crazy wondering what you should and shouldn’t do, check out our second wedding do’s and don’ts. 

Before we dig in, we want to put our biggest Do right up front: Do make your wedding whatever kind of celebration you want. Just because it’s a second wedding doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to celebrate your love with a beautiful wedding. It’s a new beginning and you should be as excited as any new bride! 

Just keep the following things in mind when planning your big day: 

Don’t Expect Your Parents To Pay 

Or at least not as much as they did the first time. They may choose to cover an activity such as the rehearsal dinner, or they may offer to pay for the full cost of the wedding. It’s up to you if you let them, but it’s safer to  assume they’re aren’t going to cover it this time around. 

Don’t Make a Big Deal About A Shower

If your friends or family want to throw you a shower, that’s awesome! But for a second wedding, you shouldn’t expect a bridal shower – after all, this event is traditionally meant to help the bride stock up on all the things she’ll need for her new home. For a second wedding, it might be fun to change things up and have the couple be the guests of honor at a party celebrating their upcoming wedding – more like an engagement party than a bridal shower. You can (and should!) still celebrate the fact that you’re getting married but the reason behind the celebration might be a little different. 

Wedding reception outside in the backyard. Bride and groom with a family standing around the table. Aerial view.

Don’t Invite Ex-Spouses

With many people still on good terms with their ex-spouses, it could be tempting to include them in your newfound happiness. However, it’s probably best to resist this urge. The last thing you want to do on your wedding day is cause uncomfortable or awkward feelings for the family and friends of your new spouse. And even if things have been peachy up until now, you never know what kind of reactions a wedding can bring out. 

Tip: If you really want to invite them, check in with your future spouse to make sure they are ok with it. 

Don’t Expect Gifts

Some guests might bring them and that’s great, but don’t expect the same level of gift-giving you received the first time around. Many of your guests will likely have attended your first wedding, and they may feel strange getting you something again, or not know what to get. 

Tip: You can register if you’d like, but keep it creative. Maybe even register with your favorite charity and ask guests to make a donation instead of bringing a gift. 

Do Include Blended Families 

If you’re entering a second marriage with kids of your own, or marrying someone with kids, they should be a big part of the celebration. Make sure they are the first ones to know about the engagement, and ask them how they’d like to be involved in the wedding. A second wedding with a blended family isn’t all about the bride and groom–it’s about celebrating the merging of two families.

Happy friends and family at a wedding party

Do Wear White (If You Want)

For your second wedding, wear whatever you want. This is still your wedding day, and you should wear whatever makes you feel beautiful. You may choose to stick with traditional white, or switch it up for an ivory or blush color – or something even brighter! Whatever you pick, make sure it makes you happy.

Bride and Groom

Do Have a Wedding Party

A traditional wedding party is a great way to honor the family and friends that have been a part of your lives. Asking them to stand with them on your wedding day shows them how much their support means to you. There’s no reason to cut out this tradition just because this is the second time you’re getting married. Many of the people you ask may have been in your first wedding and understand the journey you’ve gone on since…why not invite them to continue that journey with you? 

Bride and bridesmaids standing with bouquet at home

Do Throw a Different Wedding Than Your First

While your taste might be the same as it was during your first wedding, you’re going to want to make sure you change things up for your second. Colors, decor, location, style…make sure your second wedding doesn’t too closely resemble your first. Your new relationship is different and unique, so your wedding should be as well!

Above all, this is still your wedding. It’s a day to celebrate the love you share with your betrothed and you should share that love in a way that feels true and genuine to both of you. 

Just getting started with your planning? Give us a call and we can help you plan a day that is uniquely yours. You can reach our event coordinators by email or phone at 877-545-1002.